Love: A Feeling or a Choice?

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Love Is A Feeling: A lot of people accept love as a feeling and think nothing more of it. They can feel it in their hearts, and they know when they know. Love isn’t complicated; it’s simple.

The Problem With A Feeling : Viewing love as a feeling can be detrimental to relationships that depend on that feeling. Counting on the feeling of love to carry the relationship is like relying on your passion for writing to inspire you to write every day. Viewing love as a feeling also keeps people stuck in toxic relationships. They trust their feelings over their situation and circumstance and stay in damaging relationships because of their intense feelings of love.

Love Is A Choice: The internet is full of articles praising the idea that love is a choice. Love is a decision you choose daily to show your partner you love them. It’s not about having a feeling it’s about recognizing you love your partner regardless of how you feel and showing your partner that you love them.

The Problem With Choice: Love as a choice can be harmful when people hold their partner to this standard. When people view love as a choice, it can lead to people questioning others feelings, when they don’t respond the way they would like them too. The choice mindset is a terrible simplification of a complex emotional need and action. Telling someone that love is a choice rings of “just choose to be happy” and “stop being anxious.” As a therapist that is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.


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